Recently, many people have been noticing that I seem “well” and “happier”. Truth is, I am. I feel so good at the moment and its having an influence on everything that I do. Even today, someone that I used to work with told me that I look really happy and seem much better than I have in the past. I told her that compared to how I’ve felt in years gone past, I’m much better.
A few little things worth mentioning:
- I’m finally settling in properly at university. Yes, its took me 8 months to actually get myself into gear but its been worth it. I finally feel at home when I’m away from my family and friends and I have found myself going back to Norwich less and less. (Also used to having less than £50 in my bank all the time.)
- I have a great friendship group, and I get on with everyone on my university course. Because of this, my confidence has been boosted so much. A couple of weeks ago I needed to do a presentation in front of my tutor group; only around 15 other students but to me it was a big step. The night before this presentation, I didn’t sleep at all. I was anxious and it was playing on my mind so much. The presentation went really well and my class all told me how well I did. My tutor even told me how he has seen my confidence improving over the last year which made me feel extremely proud of myself. This time last year, I couldn’t even answer the phone to people, let alone speak in front of a large group of people.
- I am in a really healthy relationship. This is a big thing to me because I have come out of bad relationships in the worst frame of mind. For example, this time 5 months ago, I was in a relationship that was fine at first, no problems. But then i became unhappy and I was literally in it to make her happy so it was pushing me down because I felt trapped. Now, i’m in a relationship that builds me up so much. She makes me feel good about myself and I have never felt so comfortable with someone before. It’s nice being genuinely happy and feeling safe and actually being able to let myself be free.
- I’m going to be running some workshops and mentoring some girls about self harm, social media and mental health. Something that I would have never of had the confidence to do.
- I see one of my closest friends in the next couple months, after 2-3 years of friendship. I can’t wait to see her and have a nice few days with someone who has meant so much to me. Its kind of cool having friends around the country, I’m not going to lie.
- It’s been great seeing my friends and family back in Norwich this week. Good to be home and see people who want to make an effort.
- Just genuinely feeling better has made me so much happier. I’m confident in myself and my ideas and I have no problem saying what I think. I’m letting myself have bad days and bad nights, but also bringing myself back up to a good place in the following few days.
I know that this blog post has been blowing my own trumpet a bit but I’m really proud of myself at the moment for how far I’ve come and just the fact that I can actually acknowledge my achievements.
Note for today // Things get better.. Whatever you are going through, whatever you are fighting in your mind or in your life, it gets better. The bad days are only limited and the good days are worth so much. This time last year, I was an anxious little thing. Now, maybe I’m an anxious (but slightly more confident) thing.
Let yourself shine, and embrace the smallest things.
Hope you’re all well,