Is Coming Out Necessary?

I have been super excited to write this blog post but I was also completely unsure how to write it. Although this is going to be a fairly long post, I ask you to bare with me and see my point in writing this. So what I’m going to do first is pose a question and hopefully let you guys tell me your opinions in the comment section below…

Should LGBTQ+ people need to “come out”? Is it necessary?

This post was inspired following the news of pop singer, Demi Lovato, being “papped” holding a girl’s hand. Demi has always kept her personal and professional life separate from each other. Her relationships are never very public, other than the odd Instagram post and nobody has had a problem with this.

Until now.

Suddenly,  now that she has been spotted holding another girls hand in public, the world seems to think that she needs to be open with everyone but why should she?

Why should any LGBT person need to “come out” when they are dating someone of the same sex?

Why should it be treated as any different to a straight relationship?

Why are we paraded around like we’re different when the whole point of our fight is for equality?

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After doing a fair bit of research into this, I came across a rather rude article from Huffington Post suggesting that Demi’s “Reason For Refusing To Talk About Her Sexuality Is Total Bulls**t”.

A couple of points made in this article include:

  • “The only reason that people don’t want to reveal their orientation is because they’re ashamed of it or are fearful of the reactions that they’ll receive because of it.”
  • ” the longer she refuses to talk about this one specific aspect of who she is … the less I’m inclined to want her support… or to support her.”

Well, I am going to call bulls**t on this article.

Which you can read here if you want too: Huffington Post Link

I don’t understand why anyone should need to come out. Given the day and age we are in now, sexuality is such a broad term and it is becoming more and more accepted in our society so why is it so important for this particular celebrity to tell everybody that she is dating a girl, when she has never been particularly open about her personal relationships. It doesn’t make any sense and to say that she is supposedly “ashamed” of her sexuality, if she was so ashamed then why would she be willing to hold her girlfriends hand in public. Sometimes the smallest gesture can be a method of advocacy and I think that is what people fail to remember.

In a world where there are so many openly gay singers, YouTubers, celebrities etc, why is it necessary that one particular celebrity (Who is extremely private about relationships in general) to tell the world?

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I asked several friends who have a developing online following and all fall under LGBT+ several questions, interested to understand their opinions on this matter.

The questions were:

  1. Why did you choose to be open about your sexuality?
  2. Do you think LGBT+ people should have to come out? – Why?
  3. Do you think celebrities should come out about their relationships if they are LGBT? 

An upcoming YouTuber, Shannon Ford, is a good friend of mine and has been with her long term girlfriend, Abbie, for over 3 years now. Some of her points were:

  1. I didn’t see the point in hiding who I am, I knew most people would be accepting, it was scary but I am glad I can be myself.
  2. Not really, unfortunately people assume you’re straight if you don’t “come out”. It shouldn’t be a big deal though.
  3. No, if a celebrity is in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex, same sex, or has been with both, it shouldn’t matter. They shouldn’t feel the need to label themselves or be labelled. It’s their lives not ours!

One of my close friends, Rachael Holland is the lead singer/song writer in a pop-punk band; Crossing The Limits. She is openly lesbian and some of her points are:

  1. I’m not ashamed of being gay at all I can’t understand why people should care who I choose to love and if they do that’s their issue.
  2. Come out when you’re ready to but yes don’t stay in the closet forever nobody should have to hide who they are!
  3. I think it’s great for people with platforms to be open about being gay it helps to have someone you look up to that makes you feel like it’s okay.

Finally, singer/songwriter Lots Holloway has over 90,000 followers on Twitter and is an openly gay individual. Her points were:

  1. I think LGBT+ people should totally ‘come out’ but people should ‘come out’ to be who they are, people should ‘come out’ to be everything they want to be, and people should ‘come out’ because… it is definitely okay. Its not the act or process of coming out that’s the problem- its the societal pressure of the words ‘coming out’ and what those words denote. Coming out implies having being hidden away, and being hidden away implies that its not normal or not okay or just not socially accepted. As soon as we can understand that it’s actually our own doing, for giving such power to a simple phrase, the sooner people will realise it’s not a big deal and the sooner the whole concept will die out. I think when people struggle to say who they are, perhaps even because of the pressures of ‘coming out’, we in turn have made the whole damn thing even more monumental and unconquerable. 
  2. Because why the hell not – it’s just another part of who I am. I’m a songwriter, I’m gay, I’m 5”4 and that’s that.
  3. Again, I don’t think anyone ‘should’ or ’come out’.
    I think regardless of who you’re in a relationship with you shouldn’t have to do anything or tell anyone, gay or straight, it’s your life, your business. But on the flip-side, I don’t see why anyone would feel any friction with the idea of being in said relationship… what I’m saying is that, it shouldn’t be because you’re in a ‘gay’ relationship that you don’t want to tell people.

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I would love to hear some of your opinions on this subject matter in the comments below!

Thanks for reading,

Chlo’

xxx

PS, check out these people below!

Shannon Ford:

Twitter

YouTube Channel!

Crossing The Limits:

Twitter!

YouTube Channel!

Facebook!

See them on tour near you!

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Lots Holloway:

Twitter!

Facebook!

Youtube!

 

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Olivia says:

    As a person who supports the LGTBQ community I would say no one has to come out as gay just as we don’t come out as straight. You don’t owe anyone an explanation about your orientation because it’s none of their business really but true happiness comes with being your self and staying true to who you really are. Now with this being said if u feel u need to come out too take your time and don’t feel pressured but definitely come out tho and be f**** proud of it after….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Why do gays and lesbians even feel the need to come out? Just be out and disregard the vitriol of the haters.

    Like

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