Yes, I am the worst blogger in the world at the minute.
No, I’m not going to apologize for it.
The last few months haven’t been the easiest.
I see all my friends and they seem to have it together. Friends with children, friends with mortgages and jobs and living with their partner. Whereas I’m still living at home with my dad and step-mum and my girlfriend lives an hour away from me and at the moment. I just feel like anything I touch (physically and metaphorically) is going to burn up and crash down. Not to exaggerate or anything.
The last few days/weeks have been okay. I’ve been well distracted from these thoughts – whether that is a good thing or not, you decide. I just wanted to write some appreciation for the things that have kept me from going insane over the last couple of months…
1. Travelling. – I don’t go far but simply being on a train/coach/whatever for a couple of hours and spending a few days in a different place – a place where there is no pressure to be an adult and do things that make me feel anxious. Travelling somewhere new always makes me happy. I’ve been to Folkestone (Kent) to visit my Auntie and Uncle and their dog, Brighton with my girlfriend, and I have visited London a few times with my friends. It’s been great.
2. Seeing friends. – This may seem like an everyday thing for most people but my friends have honestly been a godsend these last few months. I haven’t always wanted to go out and see people but I think that the few months that I have been back in Norwich, I needed my friends more than anything. Just simply sitting in the park with them, having little nights in and singing songs at the top of our voices, I have really needed it. Big up to Aycan and Ayeasha for dealing with me over the last few months. You guys are my best-friends and I’m super lucky to have you both.
3. My girlfriend is pretty great. – I have so much appreciation for my girlfriend, Amy Linda for just looking after me and pushing through even though I can be difficult. One example would be the fact I was sick on a coach to Brighton with her and she carried my crisp packet of sick off the coach whilst I ran off to sit on a bench. I really do love you. (Plus she makes the hour long train journeys purely to make sure I’m okay… Yeah, she’s great.)
4. Family. – Honestly, without the support of my family over the last few months I don’t think I would have solidly got through the way I have.
So yeah, the last few months have been hard. In fact, I haven’t been great for a while but one thing I do want to stress in this blog post is how important your support network is through the difficult times. Its incredibly easy to push people away instead of letting them in but you need to talk. Its difficult to talk to people, trust me, but once you do, you will see how willing people actually are to help you. All your support network wants for you is for you to be the best you can be and I can guarantee that they would want to help you to become the best and healthiest you can be even if it takes a lot of dedication.
I also want to throw out a thank you to my friend Nicole who got me out last night for the first time since being home from University. I had lost a lot of confidence and so to have that push to get me out meant that I attended one of my best friends gigs and genuinely had a really good time.